


Ephebophiliac

by mysteryfail



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Ephebophilia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22257142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteryfail/pseuds/mysteryfail
Summary: “Thanks for inviting me to meet Angel! Despite the, you know.”“Despite…what, Cupcake?”(e·phe·bo·phil·i·a (ə-fē′bə-fĭl′ē-ə, -fēl′yə)n.1. Sexual attraction of an adult for postpubescent adolescents.From https://www.thefreedictionary.com/ephebophilia)
Relationships: Handsome Jack/Timothy Lawrence
Kudos: 19





	Ephebophiliac

Two men walked out of a secret hideout on Pandora. They were identical in appearance, down to their clothes; both wore masks covering their faces. 

One spoke to the other.

“Thanks for inviting me to meet Angel! Despite the, you know.”

“Despite…what, Cupcake?”

‘Cupcake’ freezes for a moment. “Didn’t you read my psych report?”

“That thing was fifty pages long! I read the summary. So, what did I miss?” with a threatening looking smile. 

“Oh no. Oh _no_.”

The first man paused, running a hand through his hair. 

The second man stopped as well. “Answer my question, _Tim_.”

Now Tim looked even more scared. “It’s just that… I uh,” 

“Spit it out, darling. It’ll be easier for you and me that way.” He gave another threatening smile. 

“Jack, I’m an ephebophile, okay? That means I- I’m attracted to teenagers. “ 

Shocked silence for a moment. Then Jack pulled back his right arm, landing a punch on Tim’s face.

Tim fell to the ground, starting to get up but being held back by Jack’s foot being placed on his windpipe. 

“So, you’re a pedo. Give me _one good reason_ why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” 

Tim started to choke. Blood was coming out of his mouth, and the sneakered foot was still on his throat.

Jack realised that, and lifted his shoe slightly. 

“I - I’d never touch a teenager! Never.” Tim said, slightly gargled. 

“How do I know that?”

“I never have. Not even when I was the right age, hah. Look at my report – it says I’m not currently considered a threat.”

Jack grunted, obviously considering his options. 

“I’m tempted to give you a mercy kill, but I spespent too much money on all that plastic surgery.” He took his foot off Tim’s windpipe, watching the man use his arms to lever himself up, blood still dripping out of his mouth and onto his clothes. 

“You’re disgusting,” he said, walking off. 

Tim watched him go for a moment before spitting some blood out of his mouth. “I know,” he whispered and got up to run after Jack. 

Jack was angrily walking along the desert. “As soon as we get back to Helios, Timothy, I am getting experts to fix you.” 

“Fix me? But I can’t-“ 

“No ‘can’t’”! We’ll have this out of you soon.” Jack looked grimly cheerful. 

“But my mom tried? And she-“

“Pfft, like your mom could afford the best.” 

Tim was silent. 

He continued to be silent on the transport back to Helios, and was still silent – apart from a few grunts and odd words to other employees – as he followed Jack back to his quarters. 

“It won’t work, you know,” he finally said to Jack as they started to undress. “Ask your experts – it’s a sexuality like any other. Just one I can’t ever indulge in.”

Jack could barely look at him as he moved into his bed. “We’ll see. You’re on the couch tonight.” 

The next morning, Handsome Jack managed to speak to the top expert on paraphilias, a Dr. Falmer, via ECHOlink. They looked at him over their glasses, and confirmed what his doppelganger had said – there was no cure. There were therapies, ways to decrease testosterone, and behavioural techniques, as well as just chopping Tim’s balls off altogether. This caused Jack to cringe as if he was thinking about castrating himself. 

Jack sighed after the conversation was over, running a hand down his face. 

He looked up over his desk. His PA had let his doppelganger in while he was thinking. 

“What did the experts say?” 

“…What you said,” Jack grudgingly admitted. “Unless you fancied being castrated, but that would make you useless.” 

Tim’s eyes went wide. “Yes, it would,” he hastily agreed. 

Handsome Jack looked at him, frowning behind his mask. 

“So, what now?” Tim asked. 

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “I’ll get my lawyers to read the damn psych report for the next doppelganger I get, though.”

Tim looked a little amused. “Seems fair. Are we alright? Or will we be?” 

Jack looked up at him. “Well, you’re banned from ever seeing Angel again – that’s for sure. I’ve locked you out of her bunker.” He paused, obviously still thinking. 

“And if you ever _look_ at an underage kid…” Jack mimed a throat being sliced.

Tim nodded frantically, his eyes wide once more. “Also fair,” he said, his voice cracking. 

“Come here,” Jack said, and Tim obeyed. 

Handsome Jack pushed his bright yellow chair back slightly, patting his knee. “Come to D- Jack.”

Tim sat down; Jack placed his chin on the other man’s shoulder, his mouth near Tim’s ear. 

They sat there in silence for a few moments, Tim starting to wiggle his butt a little and Jack stopping him. 

“No, not today.” 

Tim stilled. They both sat there, Handsome Jack tapping his fingers on the chair’s side. 

“I think we will be okay, cupcake? Just. Keep to the rules I said, and we’ll have no problems.” 

Tim sighed in relief. “Yes, Handsome Jack.”

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to SS_Horrible for letting me bounce ideas off them. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
